I am not a big government guy but since the Democratic National Convention is blowing up like a deluxe Wal-Mart pool floaty this week I thought I would add my voice to the ever growing list of new laws we need to make every American obey:br /br /Law One: No Burger King commercials at 10:30 p.m. while I am dieting. br /br /Law Two: Nametags for everyone, all the time. I just feel so much more peace when I am not working to remember names. And make them good ones. Not those cheapy lanyards that hang so low you have to stare at the belly button to read.br /br /Law Three: The California state government and the Utah State government should be forced to switch places for a year – just for fun.br /br /Law Four: Olympic handball is water polo without the water! End the crime of it!!!!br /br /Law Five: No more wearing bluetooth headsets around all the time at the grocery store like you are a somebody cause they are not that expensive anymore and you look goofy.br /br /Law Six: Lost has to actually give us some good answers in the first episode of the new season or the writers should be forced to star on every episodes of the final season of ER.br /br /Law Seven: No more political conventions. Stop these propaganda piles of brain wasting-infomercials-of-deathness shows. We need to focus on the issues. Russia, Iraq and the bankrupt social security system could care less about how balloons fall from the ceiling. Please, stop the madness. George Orwell is getting seasick from spinning in his grave.br /br /Others?
August 26, 2008
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The Australian women’s Olympic basketball team should be forced to get REAL uniforms instead of wearing the Australian women’s Olympic swim team’s suits in games.BR/BR/The guttural slurping and drooling of (pigs at a trough) guys stuffing their faces with Hardee’s “Heart Attack” burgers should only be allowed to air on Hardee’s in-store screens.
Comment by Dan V — August 27, 2008 @ 8:35 am
The DNC and forthcoming RNC should be pay-per-view only. This way, the rest of us wouldn’t need to suffer thru nonstop coverage of an event of which 99% of the US couldn’t care less about. Hey, we all know it’s going to be McCain vs. Obama!
Comment by Anonymous — August 28, 2008 @ 8:43 am