Jude 2 (MESSAGE) Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way! br /br /By Curt Harlowbr /br /The tears came in such body wracking waves that I couldn’t get a word out of her for five minutes. This was unusual for “Susan”, one of our best student leaders; clearly something was terribly wrong. br /br /As the mountain of Kleenex accumulated at her feet I braced myself. A tragic accident in her family? A life threatening cancer? When she finally spoke I could see anger mixed with the grief in her tear-swollen eyes. Furiously she blurted, “He gave me an B+!” and a fresh wave of sobbing seized her.br /br /I see this scene at least once a semester. It is the all too predictable crash of the perfectionist. For the academically oriented “Susan” types who have never, and I mean never-ever, earned anything but an A, a less then par grade often facilities the breakdown. For others a sports injury, performing arts failure or perceived change in bodily attractiveness can trigger the meltdown.br /br /When the crash comes, as it surely will, their out-of-whack need to be perfect can result in extremely difficult and even life threatening consequences.br /br /It comes out in subtle ways at first. Insomnia, mood swings, persistent low-grade depression and/or mild obsessive compulsive like symptoms haunt them. For some, the problems are more serious. Researchers have demonstrated a clear link between eating disorders, suicidal tendencies and perfectionism. br /br /Often the drive to be perfect prevents them from forming meaningful or lasting friendships, and this, in my experience, is the most insidious symptom of all. I have met many college students who really do not understand the difference between true friendship and networking.br /br /Sadly, many perfectionists end up sabotaging the very results they’ve worked so hard to build. When years of ignoring Sabbath rest catches up with them it has a devastating impact on their spiritual walk, grades, careers, and finances. I have seen 4.0 students abandon their degree senior year, or get in a huge fight with a professor, that they cannot win, over a small matter or, on more than a few occasions, get caught cheating and lose everything. br /br /The tendency towards oversized expectations starts early. While it is often easy to spot the student who needs increased help with motivation, overly driven students are often enabled by their peers, pastors and parents at a very young age to focus even more on outward achievement. Flattering feedback blinds both the perfectionist and their friends to the future burnout in store for these manic producers.br /br /Beyond this early conditioning, perfectionism reveals serious errors in our adult understanding of grace and the sufficiency of Christ. Can we really say we trust God’s undeserved favor when we are constantly pressing to achieve an unrealistic level of productivity?br /br /In fact, spiritual leaders are often the worst enablers. We love to use these highly-motivated people in our worship team, set up crews and service teams. Sure we preach on Sabbath rest, meditation and the higher call of intimacy with Christ but our ministries model go, go, go, do, do, do and work, work, work.br /br /Jude has it just about right. Often the most spiritual thing a leader can say to the super charged doer is “relax.” Maybe the reason we do not give this advice more is because we also are far too enslaved by perfectionism.